3rd Journal, Lotte

Baby moves from Mary´s house to Jules and Jules is back from rehab. He has changed and he accuses her to take drugs everytime and he is very mistrusting. I was scared for her, because if my dad would accuse me things I didnt do and would never do I would be mad at him and dissapointed and confused, because she is 12 and maybe she doesnt understand what drugs do with your body and how rehab changes the body and the bahavement. He screams at her when her new friend Lauren is at her house and they are eating dinner. Baby hoped finally to find nice friends and hang out with them and just have fun and be a happy child, but after that it is done, because Lauren tells everybody and they tease baby and so she is a lonely child at her school. But she gets closer to Theo and they got like best friends. I think they are similar in a way, because their familys have some sort of problems, Theos mum punches him and she screams at him and Baby´s father is heroin addicted and he sometimes does weird things. Theo and her go in Laurens house and steal things, that is not a good way to manage things and Theo has a big knife, but they dont know it better. Baby takes drugs, when she is stoned, she smiles and she notices that people look at her differently and that people act different. Also she wants to be loved by Alphonse who is a pimp with a specail style and Baby likes how he dresses. He has blue eyes and he impresses Baby. When he gave her knee socks Baby wears them everyday and one time she forgets she wore them and Jules see them and tell her she is a whore and he want never see them again and put them in the garbage. Baby gets drunk too with Alphonse and they kiss. I think at that point she is not a child anymore and Jules will never love her as the cute kid she was before. And I also think that Alphonse is the first person who is older than her and gives her compliments she think are true. He plays up to her. She tells him all her life story, because she trust him. She doesnt go to the Community Center anymore, because she decided to be friends with Theo. - Lotte